Care and Connection: The Quiet Resistance to a World Coming Apart
Illustration of cog and wheels with icons and imagery suggesting innovation with text overlay “equitable innovation'“
Are you feeling overwhelmed these days, and anxious about the future? Are you impacted by financial precarity, or sociopolitical unrest? Maybe you’re also challenged by personal loss, complexities in your relationships. No matter who you are, what you do, where you live, it’s likely your world is full of examples of dis-ease that feel heavy.
And yet, I believe there is a way to mount a resistance, to create a meaningful counterbalance. When forces are pulling our lives, workplaces, and communities apart, care and connection are antidotes to antipathy.
But when you’re deep in the weeds, I know it can be hard to imagine cutting a path out, and I see you.
I may not know you, personally, but I empathize with you, no matter your circumstances.
And I’m sure you know this, but you’re not alone.
This week I’ve met with a variety of people from different countries, communities, and workplaces, but the conversations have had a common refrain:
Budgets are stretched thin and people are working on fumes.
Scarcity is breeding distrust and igniting entitlement and conflict.
Overwhelm and overwork have pushed out creativity and lightness.
Political, economic, and social challenges seem intractable.
These themes prompt certain questions:
How do we create ease when resources are scarce?
How do we collaborate in the midst of (seemingly) zero-sum equations?
How do we shape a better future for all when conflict seems constant?
Perhaps my favorite question these days: What does this make possible?
THE POSSIBILITIES HIDING IN CONSTRAINTS
See, I think there’s a particular type of possible that shines through in times of crisis.
Why?
Because we - most of us, at least - can’t make it alone.
We don’t have the energy to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps .
Solving stress with bubble baths sounds laughable.
Spending on non-essentials feels indulgent at best, hazardous at worst.
Ultimately, we need what we can only get from – and give to – each other: care and connection.
CARE AND CONNECTION IN ACTION
At one American College we partner with, staff, faculty, and students have faced a number of significant hurdles over the past few years – crises above and beyond those faced by their University peers; crises that have seen their community displaced, disconnected, burdened, and disheartened.
Their leaders couldn’t offer them more pay, more time off, extra benefits, or reduced hours or responsibilities. So one leader offered coffee, and the “Cuban Cafecito” was born.
On the regular, an administrator started hosting coffee in the style of his home country, and invited his colleagues to join him. What happened? People came together because they wanted to. They talked to one another. They found peers who would listen. They shared burdens and gifted empathy. They cultivated care and connection.
Today, care and connection are codified in that college.
Not only can staff, faculty, and students apply for Care and Connection Mini-Grants to fund activities and events that bring them together, “Cultivating a Community of Care and Connection” is recognized as one of three Impact Focus Areas that college pursues strategically. Further, the college has explored how the principles of care and connection can be embedded in their culture through co-created behavioural aspirations that answer the question: Whether we face calm or turbulent seas, how do we wish to engage with one another to ensure we navigate toward our North Star (vision) together?
You can borrow from the spirit of the “Cuban Cafecito” and ask yourself, “Can I create space for people to gather in informal ways – ways that cultivate care and connection?” It doesn’t need to be a formally established routine or regular event. Don’t add the unnecessary burden of expectation – allow yourself the gift of experimentation.
HOW WE LEARN TO CARE AND CONNECT, AGAIN
During a conversation today with Equity Sequence® Trainer alumni, Jen Reiher offered a perspective that captured the heart of this moment. “We live in a time,” she said, “where we’re suddenly exposed to the perspectives and beliefs of people who a generation ago we never would have interacted with.”
Through technology and global connectedness, she noted, we’ve become “virtual neighbours”—and while that’s extraordinary, it’s also “incredibly hard.”
“We haven’t yet figured out how to be good neighbours in this new world,” Jen reflected. Many people, she explained, feel their needs aren’t being met, and that giving someone else what they need means giving up something of their own. But she challenged that zero-sum thinking. “I don’t believe that’s how it is,” she said. “We just don’t know how to do this yet.”
In a world that too often rewards outrage over empathy, Jen’s reminder is both practical and hopeful: we can learn to care for one another again—it just takes imagination, courage, and practice. Inspired by Jen, we can ask ourselves, “How can care and connection be rebuilt when difference is treated not as a threat but as an invitation to listen, to create together, and to practice being better neighbours?”
WHERE APPRECIATION COMES IN
Physiologically, when we perceive a threat, our sympathetic nervous system turns “inward,” and focuses on essential functions. Similarly, in times of crisis, it’s human nature to react in various self-protective ways. We can become more myopic, caring about and putting energy into our immediate environment and tending to our essential needs. While this reaction can be self-protective in acute scenarios, under chronic conditions, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and hopelessness. However, research has shown we can interrupt these feelings with gratitude practices.
For the most part, gratitude practices are described as solo, internal endeavours – exercises to be pursued in a journal or during meditation. An other-centric form of gratitude that cultivates care and connection looks like appreciation.
Helen Mclean, another participant in our alumni call, shared with the group how taking the time to give the gift of appreciation can have a profound effect. She went further to share the impact appreciation can have when it’s delivered in a way that matches the recipient’s personality, preferences, and/or values. Appreciation makes people feel seen, heard, connected, and valued, and doesn’t require a budget, only a bit of intention and care.
This conversation has left me with the question: “Who can I reach out to today with a message of appreciation?” or better yet, “How can I make a practice of appreciating those around me?” It also reminded me of a behavioral aspiration articulated by one partner college in their co-created “Culture Charter” which reads: “We recognize milestones, acknowledge efforts, and highlight collective successes as part of our culture of appreciation.” In yet another higher ed institution, this sentiment shows up in their co-created “Collaborative Governance Framework”:
Collaborative Governance builds culture when… contributions are noticed and celebrated.
ACTION: Give recognition in the moment; aim for one acknowledgment in every meeting.
I’d wager it’s no accident that the practice of appreciation is recognized as an essential component of a healthy and collaborative culture. Bonus: it’s free (take that, Capitalism!).
THE ART OF VISITING
My 89-year old grandmother loves to visit. I daresay she’s got a social calendar that rivals my 13-year old daughter’s! Many of Grandma’s texts start with “I had a visit from..” “I sat and visited a while with…” “I’m visiting next week with…” Despite living alone, Grandma’s life is full of care and connection and visiting plays a big role in that.
Today, also in the alumni zoom call, another participant – Ian Case – reflected on the art of visiting, offering a powerful reminder that meaningful progress of any kind begins with human connection. Rather than running structured meetings that privilege efficiency over empathy, visiting invites people to slow down, share space, and truly listen to one another.
Visiting is a powerful tool for bridge-building. It’s about conversation instead of performance – creating space where questioning, reflection, and mutual understanding can occur. In contrast to systems bound by hierarchy and formality, the practice of visiting centers care, humility, and curiosity, allowing those with systemic advantages to step back, amplify others’ voices, and build relationships that make more equitable collaboration possible.
For example, when I reflect on the many challenges plaguing higher education today, from student disengagement to declining public trust, from the executive/faculty divide to siloed operations, I see a fantastic opportunity in visiting. A provost can visit with a dean to hear about a faculty’s challenges. A dean can visit with their staff to better understand their concerns. A president can invite a student representative to coffee to learn more about their goals and ideas. A faculty member can visit with a graduate student to hear about their research.
WHERE WE - YOU - CAN GO FROM HERE
When the world feels fractured, we can still choose to mend the edges within our reach. A visit, a note of appreciation, a shared cup of coffee. Each is a quiet act of resistance against the pull of disconnection. The beauty of care and connection is that they ripple outward; every small gesture strengthens the fabric that holds us together. So perhaps the antidote to today’s dis-ease isn’t complex or costly. Perhaps it begins simply, with you, reaching out.
In a world built on scarcity, care is the most radical abundance we have.